Kill the Author, Then to Hell - Chapter 8.1
āAh, thatās…ā
āYou mentioned that you wanted to go to the Academy, didnāt you? Was Motherās passing that much of a shock to you?ā
I was nervous about how he would respond, but Johan didnāt seem intent on pressing the issue.
Instead, his face was filled with concern for his younger sister.
āAs you know, Edith, women cannot use magic. Wishing for the impossible will only hurt you.ā
Johan looked as though he was swallowing a bitter pill on my behalf.
āDo you remember what happened when you were nine?ā
Of course, I remembered.
Just hearing āwhat happened when you were nineā brought back the sharp sting of shame young Edith had felt.
<Why can Peter do it but not me? Itās not fair!>
That day was Peterās seventh birthday.
<Ha, our Peter is ready now.>
Dad had announced with a pleased expression that from now on, he would call Peter every day to teach him magic from the basics. Brother Johan was already assisting Dad in his laboratory.
<Dad, I want to learn magic too!>
Edithārather, Iāhad thrown a tantrum.
Peter couldnāt even go to the bathroom by himself at night and still couldnāt eat cabbage. I was faster than Peter in running.
I believed there was no reason Peter could do it, and I couldnāt.
Then, Johan, trying to console me, brought out a āMagic Gaugeā.
<Look at this.>
Brother placed a rather heavy silver sphere in my hand.
<Whatās this, Brother Johan?>
<See, nothing happens in your hand, right?>
Indeed, that was the case.
The sphere remained a sphere, and all I could feel was the cold metal in my hand.
Johan then pulled out another sphere, identical to the first, from his pocket and handed it to Peter.
<Peter, your turn now.>
And I could never forget the moment the sphere was placed in Peterās small hands.
Popā
The moment it touched his hands, the sphere burst into a colorful firework display with a splendid sound.
It was a beautiful sight, enough to make me forget what I was doing and stare blankly.
Miraculously, the fire didnāt spread to anything in the house.
The colors eventually disappeared one by one.
The last lingering afterimage was blue.
<As expected of my son. Itās no surprise heās good with alchemy given the bloodlineā¦ With this level of latent magic power, heāll at least be mid to upper tier already!>
Dad laughed heartily, patting Peter on the back. Peter, missing his front teeth, giggled, and I…
I couldnāt believe it.
So, I rubbed the sphere, squeezed it, even threw it, silently praying for the fireworks to burst.
But it was futile.
Nothing happened, no matter what I did, just like when I chanted in the warp booth yesterday.
I ran into my room crying, and since that day, I consciously avoided anything related to magic.
That was the incident Johan was referring to.
āI was relieved you gave up on such vain dreams after that. But hearing what Peter said, I got worried. Youāre okay, right?ā
Johan was looking at my face with eyes full of concern.
āHmm, he seems caring, but itās weirdly irritating.ā
I debated whether to trust this unfounded feeling and decided to pretend to be the naive younger sister on the surface.
āYeah, I guess I wasnāt thinking straight yesterday because I was so sad. I wondered if I could have protected Mom if I had learned magic.ā
Johan seemed somewhat relieved by my words.
But I didnāt let the bait I had thrown out just sit there.
āI see. But protect? You know Mom was so frail, and even magic potions couldnāt help. Not even Father, an outstanding mage, could do anything.ā
His tone suggested he believed Momās death was simply due to illness.
āBut…ā
I thought back to Peterās bloodshot eyes as he ran out of the basement.
If Peter had guessed something, what are the chances that Johan, who saw the same thing in the same place, felt nothing was amiss?
Moreover, Johan is receiving successor lessons as the eldest son.
āItās highly likely he was deeply involved in Motherās death or at least turned a blind eye to it.ā
Thatās probably why heās so sensitive even to his younger sisterās casual remarks.
Therefore, it was even more crucial not to arouse any further suspicion.
I replied as innocently yet sullenly as possible.
āI know, I know. Itās just, I canāt believe Mother is gone. I guess I ended up indulging in such absurd fantasies.ā
Johan reached across the table to hold my hand without saying a word. His hand was warm and firm.
āYou wonāt tell Dad, will you? I donāt want to worry him when heās already so sad.ā
I blinked my moist eyes several times, appealing to Johan, while thinking to myself,
āWow, Iām nailing the innocent younger sister act.ā
Right, I shouldnāt worry Dad.
The plan is to shoot him with the gun at the first sign of a slip-up, but it would be problematic if I alarmed him and made him put up his defenses.
Johan seemed to fall for it, smiling as sweetly as honey.
āYeah, of course. I wonāt say a word.ā
āYouāre the best, Brother! Thank you so much!ā
As I pretended to be relieved and started spooning up my soup,
Johan watched me contentedly before murmuring almost to himself.
ā…Sometimes I envy you, Edith.ā
āHuh? Why?ā
I almost blurted out, ‘Then letās trade places!’ but when I looked up, Johan seemed profoundly melancholic.
āMaybe itās better not to be able to use magic… I wish I had been born a girl like you.ā
No matter how much I pressed, Johan wouldnāt say more.
āWhy does he do this? Donāt people know the two best ways to annoy someone? The first is to stop talking mid-sentence!ā
I returned to my room full of curiosity, and it wasnāt long before I guessed the reason.
Thanks to the [Prickled Ears] buff.